Leadership Tips & Training Friendship Leadership

In one of the evangelism training workshops that I participated in, the term "friendship evangelism" was referred to as a way to lead others to Christ. The basis to friendship evangelism is to build a relationship with someone in order to open the door to share the gospel. Leadership training should also include the term "friendship leadership." As a First Place leader, your goal is to lead others to place Christ first in every area of their lives. In order to lead others, a leader must build trust with those he leads. When a leader can be a friend to members, then trust will begin to form between them. Scripture gives us key principles to follow when trying to build friendships with others.   Let's take a look at three specific scriptures that will give direction to leaders in friendship building.

Proverbs17:17
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

A leader who practices friendship leadership will love their members at all times. That means even when it is hard to love someone, do it anyway! The only way to do this is, first through the will, and then through prayer. We must choose to love and then we must ask the Lord to love through us. We have all had a difficult member in our group. If you haven't, then you haven't been leading very long! They will come and they will be difficult. Do not think of it as an obstacle, but as an opportunity to exercise God's love with others. God often brings people to our classes that are chronically needy. It seems that all of our encouraging words and instruction fall on deaf ears, when we try to encourage these needy members. Often times this leads us to be discouraged and makes it difficult to extend love to them. I found myself in such a situation. I cried out to God and was honest with Him. I told Him that it was hard to love this person and that I need His love to flow through me. I prayed daily for this person and within just a few short weeks, I realized that I did love this member, and all frustration had given way to love and patience. She has now been in my class for several years and she is still needy, but God continues to give me a love for her that rises above any of the obstacles. 

Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

A true friend will speak truth into your life, no matter how hard the truth may be. A leader who desires to live out friendship leadership will look for those teachable moments in the lives of members. Proverbs 27:17 suggests that friends sharpen one another. To sharpen a knife, one uses a hard flint stone to rub the blade against in order to remove the rough and dull parts, making it sharp and useable. A pencil is sharpened in the same way. In an electric pencil sharpener, you stick the pencil in and a motor turns a sharpening blade that runs over the rough wood, making it smooth and the lead sharp and useable. The leader can speak words of truth to members in regards to specific rough areas that will sharpen them mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For example, a member stepped on the scale and said to me, "Well, you know that my treadmill is broken and I have been unable to exercise." She was offering an excuse for her weight gain. I had developed a friendship with this member and felt comfortable speaking truthfully to her. I then asked if there were sidewalks in her neighborhood and suggested she walked outside. She paused a moment and then just had to laugh at herself and said, "You got me on that one, Nancy!"   She no longer offers excuses and has told me she appreciates it when I make her accountable for her actions.   We can speak truth into the lives of our members, only after we have loved them at all times. First, we choose to love and this builds trust, which gives us opportunity to speak sharpening words of truth into their lives. 

Hebrews 10:24
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."

Friendship leadership also involves wearing spurs! You do not have to be a cowboy to be a First Place leader, but a good pair of spurs comes in handy! Hebrews 10:24 encourages us to spur one another on in our love and in our behavior. Leaders do not actually jab their members in the sides to get them to love one another or even to fill out their CR, but they look for ways to encourage and motivate their members to live lives of love and discipline.   Through loving your members, you will be modeling for them ways to love others. I received a call from one of my longtime members asking if we could enroll one more person in our class. Our class had already started, but she felt that her friend really needs to be in our First Place class. The member's friend is battling cancer, recently lost her only daughter in a car accident, and was now raising the granddaughter who survived the accident. My First Place member had grown so much through the friendships of her entire class, and knew this would be a safe and loving place for her friend. We try to stick with the rules and do not register new members after the second class, but we also extend grace and never turn someone away who we feel has a real desire to be a part of First Place. Whenever members ask if they can bring a friend to a meeting that we have prayed for as a class, I always say yes. This seems to spur the other members on to also reach out to others in prayer and ministry. As I anticipate this possible new member's arrival, I am anxious to see what God will do in her life and in the life of our entire First Place class.  

First Place is not all about weight loss, Bible study or exercise. It is about building friendships that love at all times, sharpen lives, and spur people on to become all God created them to be. It is about friendship leadership!

Lead on!

Nancy Taylor
Leadership Training Director



Nancy Taylor is the First Place Leadership Training Director and joined the First Place staff in 1997. Nancy teaches leadership principles to First Place Leaders throughout the country and at Houston's First Baptist Church where she coordinates all the First Place groups. Nancy also speaks at First Place workshops, rallies, retreats, and conferences, where she delights her audiences with humor and encourages them with boldness. She writes a monthly article, which includes helpful tips for leaders, for the First Place E-newsletter, and was a contributing writer to the Today is the First Day devotional book. Nancy is the resident First Place Bible Concordance because of her love for Scripture memory.